Shopping Basket
Your Basket is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Delivery
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should receive an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Basket

Always a Voice

Empowering Survivors of Abuse & Trauma

Thought Spot

Thought Spot

TRIGGERS

Posted on 16 September, 2016 at 8:45


~By Teddy M.


On this day, 15 years after the terrorist attacks on September 11, I face an almost overwhelming weight of thoughts, memories and emotions. As a firefighter at the time I remember the horror of watching the World Trade Center towers collapse, and being familiar with firefighting tactics, I knew there were hundreds of firefighters still in those buildings. As it turned out there were 343, and I still feel that pain.


As a military member at that time, sitting in the command room of my military unit we watched the news reports that morning. With the growing realization that the events we were watching were a result of an attack by enemies of my country, I felt a profound sense of failure; a shared failure to protect my citizens from attack by “all enemies foreign and domestic” as I’d sworn to do. I still feel that failure. As I flew on a military aircraft that night transporting rescue teams to New York I remember feeling that I was a small part of an effort to rectify that failure. When I deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan I remember feeling that I was attempting a small amount of atonement for that failure.


This time of year is a time of triggers for me. Everywhere I turn are reminders of the horrors I witnessed, and the damage, the death and the horrors I helped to create; I am reminded of the people. I am reminded of the men and women I watched return home in boxes. I am reminded of people like my friend Ricky who, unable to cope with their overwhelming emotions, decided to end their lives.


Most of the time the techniques I’ve learned to stay ahead of my symptoms, to stay ahead of the depression, work pretty well. But this time of year is a time of triggers for me and I know that although I will get through it, I also know this is a time of nightmares and sleepless nights.

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

1789 Comments

Reply Tedpak
10:37 on 28 September, 2021 
buying cialis in mexico
Reply Marypak
9:37 on 28 September, 2021 
generic tadalafil 20mg canada
Reply Jackpak
5:26 on 28 September, 2021 
sildenafil price australia
Reply Markpak
3:58 on 28 September, 2021 
ivermectin buy australia
Reply Teopak
2:27 on 28 September, 2021 
generic viagra soft tab
Reply Lisapak
1:25 on 28 September, 2021 
online sildenafil citrate
Reply Joepak
22:15 on 27 September, 2021 
buying viagra in canada safely
Reply Paulpak
21:27 on 27 September, 2021 
cost of ivermectin cream
Reply SamuelWhado
19:21 on 27 September, 2021 
predoxen walgreens average personal injury awards pics of pink ladies sildenafil price uk male testosterone libido booster amazon cymbalta manufacturer coupon
Reply Denpak
16:25 on 27 September, 2021 
clindamycin 1 gel price purchase cialis online from canada ivermectin nz generic sildenafil nz where to buy real viagra
Reply Teopak
16:20 on 27 September, 2021 
price of tadalafil 20mg
Reply Evapak
12:46 on 27 September, 2021 
online cialis from canada
Reply Judypak
12:34 on 27 September, 2021 
cost tadalafil generic
Reply LesterweM
11:05 on 27 September, 2021 
female viagra for women grease pink ladies costume canadian viagra prescription fda indications for use form new fda approved diet drug uses for grapefruit skin
Reply SamuelNat
7:26 on 27 September, 2021 
treating low libido in women can i take viagra order viagra online canada mastercard cialis 5mg coupon does viagra lose its potency over time cialis 20
Reply Annapak
3:05 on 27 September, 2021 
where to buy real cialis online
Reply Miapak
0:51 on 27 September, 2021 
viagra cheap
Reply BernardNurdy
0:49 on 27 September, 2021 
natural male enhancement pills penile injections vs viagra sildenafil veterinary medicine cheap real viagra generic viagra cost at walgreens nasacort samples for professionals sildenafil citrate tablets 100 mg
Reply Jimpak
23:48 on 26 September, 2021 
generic cialis canada online
Reply Ugopak
22:26 on 26 September, 2021 
cialis 800 mg